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Wednesday, January 21, 2004

a Sad Day....

Just got back from lab, I booked SEM for today, so I just couldn't help it... I had to go to school. Actually I feel very very sleepy now. Why? I stayed up all night watching Japanese Drama, 11 episodes. Then, at ard 7 am this morning (after I'd finished watching everything) I decided to sleep for awhile before I went to school. The school was quite empty. Of course, tonight is CNY eve. Everybody sure had gone back home to prepare the reunion dinner. I want to go home also T_T. If I were at home.... I would have been happier. **sigh... It is sad, I keep on wondering what my family is doing at home, and knowing that I'm not there makes me lonely. Gotta call them after I finish typing this.

Lotza things happened since the school started last week. Some things made me happy, some did not. But there were more good things happened... Trust me :) When you are far away from home, the only thing that make you happy is the reality that "you have friends". Yeah... just wanna let them know that I love them **huggiez. I keep on thinking, how lucky I am... I just can't imagine what I would be, if there were no friends whom I share stories, laughters and tears with; who hog seat for me if I come late to class; who allay the sorrows... who will always be there, no matter they like it or not >:P. Gak tau deh... kenapa jadi emosional gini, mebbe because I'm scared. I will be graduating this May (and they will too), I'm scared of losing them... well, it's not totally a 'lost', but... we'll lead different kinda life after we graduate. I'm not ready to grow up.

I just can't understand myself. The more I think about it... the more I get confused. Why do I always seek 'something' or mebbe 'someone' that is 'hard to get'? Although there is 'some other thing' or 'someone else' right in front of me, I just can't bring myself to grab it... this kinda thinking always bothers me "It's quite OK, but..." "He's nice, but..." "What if I can get a better one?". Aghhhhh.... it's stressing me out. Why can't I just appreciate what is in front of me?!

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::~Rain~ :1/21/2004 01:53:00 PM::