.::.cReDiTs.::.
.::.MeSsaGe Me.::.
tHe Date witH HaPpiNesS?
My date with the happiness was today, in the morning. Is there anybody wondering about what kind of date I was talking about in the last week entry? Actually it was not a kind of ordinary 'Valentine's Day' date that you might think of.
Last week I got informed that I was called for interview. They had reviewed my application form and they got me shortlisted as candidate for the Master progamme that I applied for (from 30th of Jan's entry). It was faster that I expected [only one week after I submitted the form], that suprised me, and I felt that I was very fortunate.
Yeah... and I attended the interview. What can I say about the interview? I think the happiness stood me up. Really.... The interview was quite intimidating. This was just extremely different from the interviews I went before. I just experienced this kind of interview, may be this is the one they called a 'Stress interview' [in less exreme case, of coz]. The interviewers were like asking this question indirectly to me 'Who do you think you are? Do you think that you are good enough?'.
Anyway... I came early, and waited outside the meeting room, where the interview took place. I observed that nobody got so excited after being interviewed... they looked worried. And I thought, 'CiaLat Lah! It is gonna be a tough interview' even I heard somebody being asked about some technical things.
There were two interviews being held concurently, and I got interviewed by 4 professors. I think it was my fate,for being interviewed by the co-chair of the programme, a 'huge' prof from NTU, a cynical-lady prof and a not-so-dangerous young prof. They took longer time than those in the other room.
Matt was there accompanying me while waiting [he helped me in the preparation too!] and waiting for me when I was being interviewed. Couldn't imagine if he was not there.... I would be like a just-got-caught fish waiting to be fried in a hot oil. Hiy!!! Thanks, Matt :D
It took around 20 mins for the interview... erm, I think it's longer. They asked so many questions. And honestly, their questions stabbed me at heart. They really pulled down my idealism and brought it back to reality. At that point of time, they made me feel not so sure about myself.
Well, actually they got the point. Because I was applying for a master programme which requires chemical engineering background, and I'm from a totally different discipline of study... I can understand that. And I am ready for whatever decision they have. I don't dare to ask God to let me in... let everything happens according to His plan. Even if I don't get in, it's OK. Whatever happens happens for the good.
Matt asked me how I felt after the interview. I told him that the interview was not as smooth as I expected before, the questions were tough. And he asked, 'Do you feel you could answer better?' I replied, 'No, I've given my best'. He said, 'Good, no regret then', 'Yeah..'
Like what William Hung said in the American Idol when Simon despised him, 'I already gave my best.
I have no regrets at all.' . Awesome!
Yeah... it was my best. They can take me in if they really think that I can cope with the pressure, they can reject me also if they think that I'm not qualified. They are the best to judge.....
And now, my feeling is rather worried, not because I'm scared of being brushed off. What if they really accept me, and I really have to struggle coping with the studies? What if I can't fulfil what I'd promised to the interviewer? Is this intuition?
What is happiness?
According to http://www.dictionary.com, happiness is An agreeable feeling or condition of the soul arising from good fortune or propitious happening of any kind; the possession of those circumstances or that state of being which is attended enjoyment; the state of being happy; contentment; joyful satisfaction; felicity; blessedness.
What is happiness actually? What is the source of happiness? How does it come about? How to be happy?
A beggar can be happy only because of some 20 cents coins. A counstruction worker can be happy with his small family, without any prosperity. A cleaning auntie is happy eventhough she does cleaning job everyday for the whole of her life. There are come people satisfy with their life sitting in cashier counter without any progress forward. Some waste their time doing nothing, but they can still be happy....
But then, what's the point of struggling, choosing the most challenging path you can get? If those ppl choosing much easier path can still find hapiness too? This was a question I'd been asking myself for sometimes back... when I was about to give up.
I've been thinking.... Happiness is not the a destination of life. The journey itself is the happiness... working, playing, living. Happiness comes only from appreciating what you have right now. However, it depends on one's expectation and what he/she really wants in life. So there's no absolute source of happiness and it's not wise to compare one's life to anoter or to envy a cleaning auntie for her simple happiness.
What is my happiness then? It's my life... the past, the present and the future. I am the source of my happiness. If I can't find happiness, I will make one :D
Happy VaLenTine'S Day alL!!
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::~Rain~ :2/14/2004 05:13:00 PM::